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Rihanna Found The Hot Billionaire Boyfriend She Deserves

Rihanna doesn’t need a man, but on the rare occasion she decides she’s found somebody who deserves to get upgraded from dick appointment status, they’re like a L’Oreal product.

Worth it.

So stop whatever you’re doing right now, get down on your knees and thank whatever gods you pray to because Rihanna has finally found the man she deserves.

He’s hot. He enjoys making out in the water. And most importantly, he’s a frickin’ billionaire. Or at least he will be once the rest of his family dies.

World, behold the splendor of Rihanna’s new boyfriend, Hassan Jameel, heir to the $1.5 billion Toyota fortune.

In addition to being rich af, he also dated Naomi Campbell for a hot second last summer and some people are speculating that’s why Rihanna and Naomi unfollowed each other on social media, which sounds just petty enough to be accurate, but who knows. Naomi says there’s “no beef” between them, but from where I’m standing, there actually is one big hunk of meat between them.

And his name is Hassan.

After images of the two of them getting frisky in the pool started making the Twitter rounds yesterday,  people everywhere seemed to take that as a sign that being single isn’t acceptable anymore.

TBH, Rihanna has been the patron saint of being single for a while now, but still, this wasn’t the way people reacted when she and Drake were having their moment last year.

Maybe it’s just because people know any romance Rih cooked up with Drake was destined to fail cuz let’s be real, repeat relationships rarely work out any differently than they did the first time.

Anyway, none of that matters.

All that matters is that Rihanna’s new man is hot and rich.

May all pop culture icons get the memo that dating another musician or actor will always pale in comparison to dating a billionaire businessman. Provided he’s not a total asshole, of course.

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