5 Women Share The Times They Dated Someone Taboo—And What It Was Like
If you've ever seen a Liftetime movie, you probably get why the plotline of a taboo relationship is so freaking captivating. Mother, May I Sleep With Danger? Dirty Teacher? Yep, we'll watch all of that. And while we typically witness these, shall we say, nuanced love stories on our couch, sometimes they happen IRL.
Case in point: These five women anonymously share the surprising dudes they dated and what happened after they hit things off. Spoiler alert: Not many of them have happy endings.
"My roommate Allie* had been dating Chris* for about six months before she and I moved in together with four other girls in a college apartment. She and I shared a bedroom. At first we all hung out together all the time and Chris was just one of many guys that was often at our apartment. But as the semester went on, Chris ended up with us more and more. He said he was just trying to catch up with Allie, but she was a workaholic, straight-A student who was barely ever home. So he'd hang out and cook dinner or watch TV with me while he waited for her and it didn't take long before he was spending more time with me than with her.
"I was surprised to find how much Chris and I began to click. And he was seriously hot. One night he said he was too tired to go home and asked if he could crash on our couch instead. I told him he could just have Allie's bed as she wasn't home to use it (again). We went upstairs and got ready for bed but I don't think either one of us was sleeping. After a few minutes he asked if I wanted to cuddle to fall asleep. I hopped in Allie's bed with him and we did a lot more than cuddle. Soon we were hooking up on the regular.
"Then [one day], Allie walked in on us. She'd gotten sick at work and decided to come home early to go straight to bed. Except we were in her bed. She caught us mid-act. At first she didn't say anything (in shock, I guess) but then she just burst into tears and ran out. That was the worst part. I would have been fine if she'd been angry at me—in my mind I blamed her for being too busy to take care of her boyfriend—but she was just so hurt. She slept on the couch for a week before she could make arrangements to transfer to another apartment. We never talked again after that. And Chris and I never became a thing either. Half the fun of our 'relationship' was the excitement of the risk of having sex in his girlfriend's bed. Once it was just my bed, it wasn't as interesting. I lost a great girl friend and a sort-of boyfriend that year. I'd never do that to another girl again."
"My cousin Adam* was my first kiss. I don't normally tell people that because, well, kissing cousins are gross, right? I didn't think he was gross though, and I was totally crushing on him. He had silky brown hair, bright green eyes, and the most perfect lips. We lived nearby and hung out all the time, so when we started to get flirty with each other it didn't seem weird at all. We'd always joked around with each other. And then one day, at the lake during a family reunion of all places, we started talking about kissing and he dared me to kiss someone. So I kissed him. The only weird part was how weird it didn't feel.
"That summer we hung out every day, but it got awkward fast. We never did anything more than make out. The hardest part was how careful we had to be to hide our relationship from our families. I still remember my mom walking in on us in my bedroom and making up this elaborate lie about how I was trying to help him fix his braces. (Ironically, I wasn't allowed to have boys in my room but because he was my cousin it was fine.)
"But even when it was just us, we still felt kind of like we never knew what to call each other, exactly. Boyfriend and girlfriend sounded wrong, but kissing cousins sounded way worse. Eventually when school started it just fizzled out. We grew up and have never spoken of it again. Although we still see each other at family gatherings on a regular basis. I never told my husband about it. And whenever someone asks what my first kiss was like—which really doesn't happen much anymore—I still feel like I have to edit out the genetic relationship. It was a confusing time in my life, and that was just one of many strange things I did as a kid."
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"At 19 I thought I knew everything about the world, and so when I met Dan* I just knew he was the one I was destined to be with. He probably didn't know that while he was working on my teeth though. I was a freshman in college and still on my parent's insurance. He had already completed college, finished dental school, opened his own practice, and bought a giant house. I think the fact that he had his life all figured out really attracted me to him—even though he is old enough to be my dad. (There are 22 years between us.) I never liked boys my own age with their hookup mentality, and people are always telling me I am an old soul. So the age difference never bothered me. I decided to do everything I could to get him to ask me out.
"At first he totally resisted all my advances. I'd put on my hottest outfit and stop by his office to say hi or to ask about tooth whitening, adding I was just in the neighborhood. I'm sure his office staff thought I was nuts. But eventually he agreed to have lunch with me. The more we talked the more we realized how much we really have in common. It was amazing how easy and comfortable it all was. The weirdest part, by far, was introducing him to my parents. Although they weren't really friends they did know him socially, and at first they thought the age gap was too much. But I pointed out to my dad that I would never have to struggle like he and my mom did when they first got married and that I'd be totally taken care of from day one, which he really liked. We got married five years ago and now have a beautiful son! I couldn't be happier about how things worked out."
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"My first job right out of college was with a company that was huge in my field—and they hardly ever hired people with no experience (like me) so the job was a major score. I had my own office, a fat paycheck, and felt crazy smart and successful. I also had a boss who, at the time, I thought was really great. He was the one who hired me and so at first it didn't seem weird that he was always coming in to check on me, but within weeks it became clear he was interested in more than just a working relationship. I was unattached, and I liked him, so I jumped on it—er, him.
"We dated for six months, but because office relationships between a boss and an employee were forbidden we had to keep it a secret. I think that was part of the fun actually. One time we went on vacation together, so we were both out of the office at the same time. We spent half of our time together concocting elaborate stories complete with pictures and social media posts to make it seem like we weren't together. I still remember my coworker telling me how 'brave' I was to go to Mexico all on my own.
"It wasn't too long after that though that the shine started to wear off. We were fighting more and then one day he hired Jackie* and it suddenly became clear to me what was happening. She was obviously unqualified for the job and he was smitten with her. We broke up. While I wasn't heartbroken about it, I still wonder if that was the only reason I got the job."
Watch men and women spill the honest truth about exactly what they think about cheating:
"When I was 18 and in high school, I worked at a pizza place. It was a rough year for me, and I ended up failing out of school. I was telling my manager Jake* about how I had no place to live and then he said I should just move in with him. He was older than me, but he was cute so I said yes. Even though I was dating someone when I first moved in, my roommate and I quickly became something more, and we ended up living together for two years.
"Things were pretty good until the management changed at the restaurant. The new manager demoted my boyfriend to shift lead. And then I quit because he refused to ask her for a raise on my behalf and wouldn't let me ask her directly. We started fighting a lot.
"But the real problem was that I didn't have a bank account so I'd been depositing all my checks into his account. I never saw the statements, but he said he used the money to pay the bills. I deferred to him on all decisions, financial and otherwise. I was too nervous to ask him for money, so I never had much cash.
"Ultimately, I cheated on him, he cheated on me. We broke each others' hearts."
*Names have been changed.