Got Chemistry? The Second-Date Test
Yeah, first impressions matter, but the second date is the true test of chemistry.
On the second date, guys have already told their best stories, used their best lines, and busted their best moves. They are probably plain out of let-me-impress-you material (and so are you!) so a date success—or failure—relies completely on that good ‘ol fashioned spark.
RicoSuave didn’t pass the second-date test. It was a shame. Things were so fiery on the first date, but by the end of the second date things were all fizzled out. Well, for me they were. On the first date, we canoodled on a couch by a fireplace, sipped wine, laughed, and had a great time. On the second date, I chewed my food, listening to him tell the same stories he told me the week before. Can you imagine how bad he’ll be when he gets old?
He, however, seemed completely enthralled in me and my stories, and has left me a voicemail asking me out again (I'm yet to call him back with the bad news). But that’s because even though there was no real chemistry, I know how to rock a second date. That way, when I want it, I always get a third date. Here’s how:
I love me some free food, but dinner is a very interviewy setting, so it’s easy to get locked in a boring question-and-answer session at dinner. If he does want to take you to dinner, suggest you do something after that allows for more interaction so you can see how you two really vibe. I enjoy: bocce, bowling (I play adorably badly), picnics, museums, and, yes, long walks on the beach.
Skip the Small Talk
It’s boring. So just don’t do it, okay? Instead, try to learn about his little quirks that really make him who he is. If you feel like you absolutely have to learn concrete facts about him, play the fun version of the question game, taking turns asking each other really ridiculous questions. Like, what was his favorite cereal was as a kid? This always gets the most detailed, passionate response you can imagine. Seriously.
Nope, we ladies aren’t the only ones who like to ramble on and on. So take a turn and really listen to him. Lean in, don’t interject with your own story, and just have common sense (which actually isn’t too common). Bring up interests he mentioned in the first date. And even if you don’t remember where he’s from or how to spell his last name, don’t ask! Yeah, it’s so easy to forget, but you don’t want to give him the impression you weren’t paying attention or he just wasn’t memorable (unless he really wasn’t memorable).
Get (a Little Bit) Physical
Don’t give away the farm, but make him want your watermelons. Bad. A subtle touch on the hand or brush on the thigh accomplishes two things: 1) It lets your date know you are romantically and physically interested in him and 2) It makes him go a little bit crazy. Bonus: It’s fun to tease.