Coming Soon: A Secret ‘Sex Island’ Where Cheaters Can Do It On The DL
Apparently cheaters and cheating websites have learned jack in the wake of the Ashley Madison scandal. The website IllicitEncounters.com (tagline: “the U.K.’s leading married-dating website”) is buying an island where people can go and get their adultery on.
According to the New York Post, the island has been dubbed “Illicit Retreat” and is about 100 miles from the southern coast of England. The island has apartments all over it, each with bedrooms (naturally), a dining room, and hot tub.
In an effort to ensure that cheaters don’t get caught with their lovers—because, really, that would be terrible—they’ll be whisked to the island in a helicopter. This, Illicit Encounters says, helps you to avoid suspicious receipts for transportation or jacked-up mileage on your car’s odometer. Okay, that's kinda smart.
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The company even plans to blindfold people so the location stays secret, and will make them sign non-disclosure agreements.
“All you need to do is sneak out for a ‘business trip’ and the rest is taken care of for you,” Illicit Encounters spokesperson Christian Grant told the Post, adding “What happens on the island, stays on the island.”
Related: 10 Things the Infidelity Site Ashley Madison Has Taught Us About Cheating
But—there are definitely a few practical issues there. Sure, taking the company’s transportation to the island avoids a weird transportation receipt, but it won’t help explain things if your S.O. learns that you were spotted hopping into a helicopter with a blindfold on. Unless, of course, that’s part of your daily routine—in which case, point for you!
Also, this has to be paid for somehow and we’re guessing a whopping bill for “dinner with friends” (since a trip to a private island for cheaters probably doesn’t come cheap) is going to raise a red flag.
Related: Do Cheaters Actually Want to Get Caught?
Finally, the whole privacy thing is just an illusion. If you spot someone you know on an island made exclusively for cheaters, you’re totally busted (although, to be fair, they are too.)
We may be crazy for thinking this, but isn’t it just better to break up with someone if you’re that tempted to cheat on them? No sketchy helicopter ride required.