How To Have Sex Standing Up Like They Do In The Movies
Every good movie has a standing-sex scene that's always super steamy. (No? Just the flicks I watch?) But IRL, having sex while you're standing up is a totally different story. Maybe you've fumbled, maybe you've fallen, or maybe you just can't seem to get even close to climaxing. If any of that sounds like you, good news: You don't need to be a stuntwoman to pull it off—and get off.
“Standing sex offers so many possibilities for closeness,” says Janet Brito, PhD, a licensed clinical psychologist and certified sex therapist at the Center for Sexual and Reproductive Health in Honolulu, Hawaii.
“Having sex standing up often allows you to face each other for that intimate eye contact, but unlike lying-down positions, you're also holding onto each other firmly [so you don't fall] as you're grinding and kissing," she explains. "You get to exchange such intimate and passionate energy."
Now listen, there's no denying that standing sex positions are more athletic than the traditional horizontal type. You need balance, coordination, and even the right props to make it successful.
There’s also the fact that you have to be good communicators and truly work together to, well, get the most bang for your buck. But that's just another opportunity to grow closer, Brito says.
So while the logistics may be tough, having sex standing up is still worth trying (and trying again..and again—practice makes perfect, after all). With some balance, an adventurous spirit, and a happy-go-lucky attitude, sex standing up **might** just become your new favorite way to get it on.
Here's how to make that rom-com fantasy your own sexy reality:
1. Start with standing foreplay.
Penetration doesn’t have to be the main event. If you’re not in quickie mode, slow things down a bit so that you can milk the amped-up intimacy that comes with being face to face.
“Use your hands and mouth to explore your partner’s body. While your partner stands, use your hands to caress their legs, arms, shoulders, face, belly, and genital areas,” says Brito. (This is a good time to try out that new massage oil.)
2. Grab a supportive prop.
Attempting sex when you and your partner are both just standing straight up on the floor facing each other is neither sustainable nor all that effective, since the angle for entry will be awkward.
Instead, bring in some type of support, be it a wall that your partner can push you up against, a car hood to bend over, or a kitchen counter, desk, or table (whatever is the more appropriate height) to lean on, says Brito. Adding in a sturdy piece of furniture to shift some of your weight on—and be able to grab if you lose your balance—still counts as standing sex!
Oh, and pro tip: Stick a pillow behind your back—these objects tend to have edges that'll dig into your spine.
3. Try a beginner-friendly position.
Try a position that doesn’t require mega balance and strength. One option: Get into downward-facing dog in the morning, and let your partner enter you from behind, suggests Brito. This doesn't give you the eye contact of true standing sex, but it'll help you adjust to getting frisky off the bed.
From there, you can work up to propping your elbows on the edge of the bed (facing toward your partner or away, for doggy style). Then you can advance to standing with one knee or foot resting on the bed with your torso upright, with your partner behind or in front of you.
4. Make up for height gaps.
If a height difference between you two makes things more challenging, it's not Mission Impossible. Try standing on a step of staircase—go ahead and grab onto the railing for balance—or prop a sturdy ottoman up against a wall that you can lean on.
You could also try sitting on top of a table or desk that puts your pelvis at the same height as your partner's and pretzel your legs around their hips. Scoot to the edge of the surface and let them scoop you up for a few minutes of real standing sex, for a move called Standing Straddle.
Whenever either of you need a break from fighting gravity, slide back onto the furniture, and repeat.
5. Bring oral sex in.
People often equate sex with just intercourse, but oral sex is sex, too—and if that’s what brings you to orgasm, you certainly don't want to miss going down on each other in the standing position.
Brito recommends a move called Praise My Temple, where the giver is on their knees while the receiver leans against a wall with one foot resting on a nearby chair.
6. Move onto advanced standing sex.
Ready for a show? When you've had some time to get comfortable with standing sex (physically and mentally), you can try tougher positions that require more strength and flexibility, says Brito. Remember the Standing Straddle? That's a great one.
To do it, wrap your legs around your partner’s body and grab their shoulders. They should hold onto your thighs as they thrust, or if they're super experienced, they can move one hand onto your butt or small of your back.
7. Get fresh in the shower.
Shower sex can be exceptional standing sex, since you're surrounded by things you can grasp onto if needed, but it can also be a bit dangerous. Because: water.
If you've never had successful standing sex on dry ground, the shower isn't the best place to start—the beginner-friendly Downward Doggy (step 3) is. But once you've acquired your sex legs, go ahead and spread them in the shower.
First, buy a grippy mat to place on your shower floor so you don't slip and slide all over the place. (If you don't have one, you could try using the anti-slip mat under your rug, but since it's likely not waterproof, save this hack for quickies.)
Then experiment with a move like Standing Doggy, which offers some stability: “Bend forward and hold onto one of the shower rails [or push against one of the shower walls] while you’re penetrated from behind,” says Brito. Lift your foot and place it on something like a suction foot rest (or wherever you might prop your leg to shave) to deepen the sensation. Your partner can grip the wall or, ooh, your body.
In any position, make sure you and your partner keep your knees softly bent—locking out your legs, especially in a steamy-hot shower, can up your risk of them buckling and you falling. The stance also helps relax your body so you can better enjoy the action.
8. Lighten up.
Even though standing sex screams "gotta-have-you-now" intensity, it doesn't need to be so serious. If you trip a bit or end up in a wonky position that makes either or both of you cringe, no worries—just laugh it off.
In the end, the best sex isn't just about getting your big O, but also about bonding closer with your partner. And as awkward as it may seem in the moment, there's no better way to do that than by having a few flops in the bedroom. Because aside from some intimate memories, they'll also lead to some extra-hot do-overs.
Who wouldn't stand up for that?