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15 Vagina Facts That Would Make Penises Jealous

Obviously we all know that, but it bears constant repeating. Seriously: respect. What can you do, penis? #birthcanal

And we all know that's the measurement that matters. The typical baseline diameter of a vagina is about 3 cm, according to Yale Medical School clinical professor of obstetrics and gynecology Mary Jane Minkin, M.D. An infant’s head is around 10 cm across. You do the math. (Actually, we did it already. And wow.)

Grower? Shower? The vag is no slouch, herself. It lengthens during arousal, Minkin tells SELF, from an average length (i.e. depth) of 7 or 8 cm up to 10 or 11 cm.

And no one can see it in the locker room, anyway.

While uncircumcised men have to clean under their foreskin to prevent the build-up of smegma that can lead to fungal and bacterial infections, the vagina is basically a self-cleaning oven. It produces natural fluids to flush out bad bacteria and maintain and healthy pH. That’s why you don’t need to—and shouldn’t—douche.

Lube is lovely. But most women don’t need it, says Minkin, because they’ve got their own way of getting ready to get down. “It’s called arousal,” she says. “Most people get wet enough” just from getting turned on. Hand lotion and Kleenex? As if.

There’s no hiding a raging boner. That must be, ahem, hard on you guys. But ladies don’t need to worry about anyone spying their discreet cloners (ya know, clitoral boner).

That’s because they are surrounded by muscles that you can flex and strengthen. Kegel exercisers, Ben Wa balls and yoni eggs help you work out the pelvic floor muscles that surround the vaginal canal. Stronger Kegels give you more intense contractions during orgasms. And you can work them on your own, any time, anywhere. (Learn exactly how to do Kegel exercises here.)

Embryologically, the vagina forms from two tubular structures that fuse in the middle. The divider along the midline disappears during development. But occasionally it doesn’t, so some women are born with a septum that divides the vagina into two. While some opt to have it removed, others may not even know it’s there. It’ll just push to one side or the other when inserting something, like a tampon, a penis or a dildo.

In the words of Broad City’s Ilana Glazer, it’s nature’s pocket. We don't recommend using it as a stash box (and can think of at least 18 other things you should never put in your vagina), but there are many wonderful things you can—and should!—put in there. Like clean, loving fingers, hungry tongues, and—yes, ma'am—penises. Have you ever tried to put a penis inside a penis? Neither have we, but it sounds awful.

Comedy Central / via, Giphy

Just sayin.

The clitoris is typically 9 to 11 cm long, Leah Millheiser, M.D., clinical assistant professor of obstetrics and gynecology at Stanford University School of Medicine, tells SELF, and most of it is tucked out of view. “The most sensitive part is the clitoral glans—the part we see—but the entire thing, which extends into the vagina, can be stimulated,” she explains, adding: “Take that!”

Women can achieve orgasm from vaginal, clitoral and even nipple and perianal stimulation.

…while men and their penises have to wait out a refractory period until they can come again. The length of the refractory period varies from person to person, but tends to get longer with age. Womp.

Sorry (not sorry).

Riley Joseph / Stocksy

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