How To Have The Hottest Sex Ever—Using Your Ears
Pleasure zones like your clitoris and nipples get plenty of airplay. But where’s all the love for our lobes? A study published in the journal Cortex found that ears are consistently rated as one of the top 10 hot spots for both men and women. “The ear is an incredibly sensitive organ with lots of nerve endings,” says sexologist Barbara Winter, Ph.D.
Of course, ears offer more than satisfying physical sensations—they can be mentally transformative. “Hearing is one of the best ways to stay in the moment and get out of your head,” says Winter. And we all know how important getting your head in the game is when it comes to sex.
With that in mind, we asked experts for eight aural moves to try in the sack. Listen up!
Take turns giving each other an ear massage, says Steve McGough, associate professor of clinical sexology at the Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality. Here's how to do it: Use your thumb and pointer finger to gently rub the other person’s earlobes in a circular motion. After about 20 seconds, continue slowly rubbing around the outer backside of the ear from the base up to the top. Work around the top of the ear and over to the front, paying special attention to the ridge just above the auditory canal. Stay with us here.
Next, insert your finger partially in his ear (not so far that you plug it), and press with your thumb pointing downward. Massage the whole area in an arc, from top to bottom. “This area is connected to the vagus nerve, which travels from the skull downward through the heart, nipples, and genitals,” McGough says. “Research has shown that the vagus nerve is involved in female orgasm.” So it's a good one to have your partner do to you.
To finish up, gently stroke your partner’s skin, starting at his collar bone, going up along his neck, circling around his ear, and then moving back down to his collar bone. Repeat this a few times on each side.
If the massage was a hit, McGough suggests moving on to kissing: Stroke your partner’s hair away from his ears. Then, alternate kissing and flicking your tongue (either side-to-side or up-and-down) starting at his collar bone to the base of his neck, then up his neck and around his ear in the same path described above for the massage.
“Some people enjoy it if you flick your tongue on the inner parts of their ear because it slightly tickles," says McGough. You can also experiment with soft blowing in this area—just don’t blow too hard near their auditory canal, he says.
Download a noise machine app on your phone and play the sounds of the ocean, a rainstorm, or the jungle while you’re knocking boots. “Ambient noise will relax your nerves, and open you up to arousal,” says Winter. Come on, listening to a waterfall is way more exciting than the sounds of your neighbor mowing the lawn. Plus, you'll be able focus on pleasurable sensations instead of your to-do list.
When it comes to arousing sounds, you can’t go wrong with dirty talk. “For most men, their number one aim is to please their partner in bed," says Winter. So go ahead and give him some naughty words of encouragement.
Try: “It gets me so hot when you [fill in the blank],” “Baby, that feels unbelievable,” or straight up, “I’m coming,” which lets him know he’s pushed you over the edge. For bonus points, try whispering the words in his ear. He'll feel your hot breath against his skin, which can amplify the sexy factor.
Women are turned on by hearing that they’re lusted after. “You're so freaking sexy,” or “I want you so bad,” are all good places to start. If your guy says something that gets you going, let him know it turns you on.
"When a couple allows for complete silence, they increase their level of intimacy,” says clinical psychologist Nancy Irwin. As a result of feeling so close, you’ll discover new ways to turn each other on.
During sex, focus on the sounds of your two bodies together: His breath mixed with yours, the rustling of the sheets, your skin rubbing against his. This makes the experience incredibly instinctual (grr, baby). This also helps the two of you sync up your bodies (see: no more awkward sex) and you’ll discover more about what your partner craves sexually, she says.
As long as it's consensual, there are no damn rules when it comes to your sex life. That includes ear penetration. Yup, we said it. It may have been a joke on Family Guy, but if the ear is a sexual spot for you, you might find it pleasurable, says Winter.
Begin by having your guy rub and caress your face, neck, and ear with his penis, then play with inserting the tip. (Just have him remove his magic wand before orgasm to prevent the risk of an ear infection.)
If you’re away from each other, or even just in separate parts of your house, play around with phone sex. Call him up, tell him that you’re thinking of him, and then let things proceed in a naughty direction from there. “Verbally guiding each other through sexual activity can build up desire and longing,” says Winter.
Describe to him in detail how you want to touch him, as well as what you’re doing to yourself. Then when he speaks, close your eyes, and visualize every step as his words lead you to O-town. You can also use this helpful Mad Libs guide to phone sex, if you get lost.