The Ultimate Quickie
Are you too stressed, tired or overworked to get busy between the sheets? You’re not alone. According to a recent survey by National Survey of Sexual Attitudes and Lifestyles, women across the country are facing a steep decline in sexual activity, with our modern and hectic lifestyles partly to blame.
You're busy, we get it. But by missing out on sex, you’re also missing out on some vital health benefits. Sex has been proven to alleviate pain, relieve stress and boost our immune systems, warding off colds, infections and even depression. Not only that, but it can also help us burn a few calories!
Couples who have regular sex are happier because it helps us feel connected to our partners, explains relationship expert Dr. Becky Spelman. ‘Sex is the most intimate thing you can do with your partner. By having regular sex and reaching climax with your other half, you're not only connecting yourself to your partner but you're also releasing endorphins - which, in turn, make you happier.’
Sounds good, but unless the time travel fairy stops by to give you an extra couple of hours in the day, how can you fit sex into your busy schedule?
The solution is simple. You need to find a way to reach climax – but pronto! Here are a few ideas from the expert on how to speed up the process.
The problem: You’re too tired
It’s been a long day. The only thing you want to do is go to bed – to sleep, that is! There’s just no way you could summon enough energy to reach the big O tonight, right? Wrong!
The solution: Go work out
According to Dr. Spelman, ab exercise is the perfect prep for sex. Your work out will have stimulated the nerves running through to your pelvis, and those feel good endorphins will be coursing through your body. So stop by that legs, bums and tums class after work - your libido will thank you.
But it’s not just ab exercises. A University of Texas study found that women who had finished just 20 minutes of cardio exercise were more aroused afterwards than women who had not exercised.
So even though your brain might be exhausted, your body is already warmed up and ready to go. Once you get down to it, Dr. Spelman says, you may find you actually climax quicker, despite your lack of motivation!
The problem: You’re too busy
You’re just in the door and don't even have enough time to shower and get dressed before you have to rush out again to try and be in three different places at once. Meanwhile, your partner is just as busy as you are, which means that there’s barely enough time to have a proper conversation, let alone get frisky. It’s never going to happen in a rush now, is it?
The solution: Get a little help
Spicing things up with a sex toy is not only fun, but it’s also a great way to increase intensity and reach climax that much faster. Dr. Spelman recommends using a sex toy like the We-Vibe 4 couples’ massager that enhances sex for both of you simultaneously. You wear it during sex for extra stimulation to your clitoris and g-spot, and he fits in underneath to share the vibe. The heightened sensation is a sure fire way to please you both and facilitate a great finale, even in a short time frame.
‘No other product can stimulate both the g-spot and clitoris simultaneously, all while having sex and creating pleasure for the man as well,’ says Dr. Spelman. ‘This toy will get many couples excited - particularly if the female has ever experienced problems with climaxing, or wants a more intense orgasm.’
The problem: I’m too stressed
You’ve had a hectic week and tomorrow is going to be more of the same. The only thing you're thinking about is that important job interview/client presentation/meeting with your boss. You are stressed with a capital S, which means that nobody’s getting lucky tonight.
The solution: Relax with the right thrust
Sex is actually the perfect cure for stress and frustration, says Dr. Spelman. Furthermore, an orgasm can reduce blood pressure and have a sedative and relaxing effect which means that a well-directed quickie could be just what the doctor ordered.
According to Dr. Spelman, how he thrusts can make or break a successful session. Take the lead by getting on top, she says, and move in circles rather than up and down. This will keep as much of the base of his penis in contact with you as possible. Short and shallow thrusts, rather than deep and fast, can quickly induce an intense orgasm.
The problem: I can’t switch off
So you’re lying in bed, mulling over today’s events and mentally checking off your to-do list while simultaneously scrolling through emails on your phone and talking to your partner – sound familiar? With a million and one thoughts in your head, there simply isn’t room for sexy time.
The solution: Mindful sex
First of all, get turned on by turning your phone off. Studies show that using electronic devices before bedtime hinders sleep. Bad sleep = cranky and irritable, which isn’t exactly conducive for sex, now is it?
Good. Next, try some mindful sex. ‘Thinking too much during sex can greatly reduce the chances of having an orgasm,’ explains Dr. Becky. ‘This is where practicing mindful sex can really help you relax into a pleasurable orgasm.’
How can you practice mindful sex? ‘Start by focusing on your breathing rather than on your thoughts. Every time your mind drifts away, bring your focus back to your breathing or anything that is happening in the present moment and the feelings of pleasure. This will help you relax, enjoy the moment and achieve orgasm.’