Why These Women In Their 20s Haven'T Had Sex
There are many (legitimate) reasons women may choose not to have sex. You could be busy, tired or just not in the mood—and that's totally fine.
But for many, the lack of sex revolves around the fact that so many first times are just incredibly awkward.
Here, 10 women who are all in their 20s explain whether they haven't had sex out of choice, and if so, why they've opted out (for now).
10 WOMEN SHARE:
WHY I'M A VIRGIN IN MY TWENTIES
1. "I'm 22 and still a virgin by choice (never gotten further than making out). Religion is a huge part of it, as I am planning on waiting until marriage - or close to it. But even if I weren't a Christian, I would probably still be waiting.
“I cannot imagine myself being intimate with someone I am not absolutely in love with and trust. I could not imagine having sex just to have sex.
"I get along with just about everyone, but only have a few people in my life I am close to and vulnerable with. I still struggle to tell even my best friends some things, let alone bust my legs open for some guy I don't know well enough.
“I am also very career-driven at this point. Obviously, I would LOVE to find the right guy, but it is not my number one priority at this time. I just finished my BA, am starting my first 'big girl' job in a couple of weeks, and am a current grad school candidate. I do not even want the 0.1% chance of getting pregnant or throwing my life away to the wrong guy."
2. "24, current full-blown sex virgin...just hasn’t felt right yet. Mainly my inner monologue shaming me since I grew up with abstinence only 'save yourself for your husband' education.
“I’ve been fortunate enough to have flings/partners that respected that I wasn’t ready, and I’ve had the power to walk away from the ones that didn’t.
“Other sexual acts were committed around age 19. Those were - awkward - and I think only done because I wanted to find friends at university and that person had a friend group I could lump myself in with."
3. "21 and still a virgin. As a teenager, it was certainly by choice, and I'd actually been celibate, but as I got a bit older, I decided I wasn't going to wait for marriage, and just kind of wait for the right time and person. Plus I've never been in a long term relationship before, so the opportunity has never really presented itself.
“I’m usually caught between wanting to get it over with because I'm a bit self conscious about it (which I know is stupid. I would never look down on someone who was my age or older and a virgin) and I feel behind.
“On the other hand, I don't want to do something I end up regretting, and I'm sure I won't enjoy myself if I do it with someone I'm not totally connected to! Plus I'm slightly terrified of the notion of having sex. Guess I'm just a mixture of impatient and apathetic. Go figure!"
4. "I’m 24, still single and a virgin. I’m very independent and focused on my career and business. Additionally, I feel like most 20-something guys are really immature and just looking for opportunities to hook up. Maybe I'm wrong, but that's how I feel.
“At this age, few people want to form a solid relationship with one person, develop that deep emotional connection and settle down.
“When it comes to relationships, I’m more traditional and an old-fashioned romantic."
5. "22, virgin. Just started dating my first boyfriend three months ago, and he wants to wait until marriage to have sex.
“Before him, [I] never had sex because casual hook-ups just aren't my thing."
6. "I am currently a virgin and nearly 28. Why? I'd like to blame it on the fact that I'm asexual and that's played a large role but its also due to the fact that I'm introverted.
“I haven't ever really dated. Someone asked me out once a decade ago. I accidentally accepted because he was socially awkward and worded it very poorly. I thought he was just asking [me] out to prom so I wouldn't be alone."
7. "22 and still a virgin. I’ve had opportunities, but it never seemed right to me. I don’t regret rejecting those times."
8. "I'm 20, and though I'm not necessarily a virgin by choice (never been in a serious relationship), I've been in a few positions where I could have lost it but didn't because the other person just wanted casual sex.
“I do want to have sex, but I feel like it's probably best that I wait to get into a serious relationship first. Though I have been tempted to just hook up with someone attractive, I figure I'd be most comfortable with someone I trust and with someone who really cares about me."
9. "23. I was sexually harassed by an older family friend while I was a kid and I have the idea that sex is something to be afraid of, something wrong.
“Even though I had the opportunity to lose my virginity with someone special, I'm scared and I don't really want to do it."
10. "I'm 27. Never even had my first kiss. It's not even because I haven't tried, either.
“I think I look ok, although I am very tall. As tall or taller than many men, so maybe it scares them off.
“I have a good personality, lots of friends, hobbies, decent social life. I don't think I'm dull and boring. I can't make heads or tails of my situation, but it is what it is. Sigh."
Feel like your sex life isn’t as good as everybody else’s? Find out how often married couples have sex and read about the surprising factors that affect orgasms.