11 Very Good Reasons Women Chose To Be Single
Being alone can be intimidating.
We live in a culture that tends to value our relationship status over who we are as human beings. And with the holidays just around the corner, the pressure is on more than ever to get coupled up (they call it cuffing season for a reason). We've all been there: relatives asking about your love life at a family gathering, and make you feel like a complete weirdo if you're not attached at the hip with a romantic partner.
Unfortunately, this extreme pressure to be part of a twosome can lead many of us into relationships that are sub-par, and in some cases, pretty unhealthy.
Which begs the question: Is it really better to be in any relationship rather than be single? Plenty of people might tell you yes, but we're here to set the record straight—absolutely not.
Luckily, it doesn’t have to be this way. You’re perfectly whole on your own, and don't need to be in a relationship that makes you feel any less than ecstatic. Let these 11 inspiring, eye-opening ladies show you why. Here, single women on why they’d never settle (and why you shouldn't either).
1. 'I LOVE BEING A NOMAD'
"At the moment, being single is a choice I have made, I am a digital nomad and change cities every few months as my company is remote as well. I love to be in new places and meet new people. I consider new opportunities and discovery to be more important than a relationship." —Isabel, 33
2. 'NOBODY HOLDS MY INTEREST'
"I’ve never had a serious partner before. I’ve dated both men and women, but just can’t seem to find anyone who holds my interest. I’d rather be on my own, building my career and having an amazing time with my friends than settling for some random person. Unless someone truly spectacular comes along and sweeps me off my feet, I don’t ever see myself settling down. Who needs that?" —Madeline, 30
3. 'I HAVE A LIST OF NON-NEGOTIABLES'
"I have had two long-term relationships; the first I left because the sex wasn't great, and the second ended because my fiancé had a mental illness that he wasn't managing. I obviously don't want to settle for just anyone; I want someone to compliment me vs "complete" me. I have a list of things I am looking for and a smaller list of non-negotiables.
"List of non-negotiables:
"1. Can have fun without drugs or alcohol—I've dated guys who drink too much and I come from a history of alcoholics.
"2. He must be taller than me (I'm 5'9" and athletic). I always feel so masculine if a guy is shorter than me.
"3. Healthy body weight and lifestyle. I have my own fitness and nutrition company—this is a must.
"4. Must be sexually compatible with me—one of my long-term guys just wasn't and it led to difficulties.
"5. Be a good communicator—this is such a high priority for me; my parents were terrible communicators and ended up getting divorced when I was in my mid-twenties.
"6. [Be] empathetic. I am very empathic and lean towards the more emotional side. I need someone who can be sensitive to my feelings in certain situations." —Patti, 42
4. 'I'VE LEARNED FROM PAST MISTAKES'
"I will never, ever settle in a relationship because I have learned from my mistakes. I think it's common to blame the other person for what happened in our relationships. In truth, we attract ourselves to either the right or wrong relationships primarily based on what we witnessed growing up. I never wanted to be the nag. The woman who got in the way of work or fun, but I ended up being the other extreme. I let too much go and eventually, there was a great imbalance in my relationship. I will have boundaries in my next relationship and, most importantly, I will not accept and make excuses for bad behaviour." —Colleen, 54
5. 'I'D RATHER BE ALONE'
"Honestly, I’d rather be alone and be with someone who makes me feel alone. I’ve dated so many idiots and I’m over it. I’m not bitter, I’m simply not willing to compromise my value for another person. Relationships take work, and unless you’re going to give me 100% when I give you 100%, I’m not interested." —Claire, 27
6. 'I LOVE MYSELF TOO MUCH'
"Settle? No way. I love my own company too much. It’s just never worth hurting another person. Or risking my own mental health to ‘settle’. I don’t care what he looks like. It’s about more than this. [He’d need to be a] great conversationalist, open to discussing/arguing different opinions on all fronts, honest, ethical and with integrity." —Brenda, 67
7. 'I PREFER BEING SINGLE'
"Once I decided that I was the most important person in my life and I had to do right by me, I stopped dating assholes. In my last relationship, my partner spent four months courting me. He had to prove himself to me before I was willing to date him. As it turned out, I prefer being single. I’m sure I’ll find someone amazing one day, but I’m enough to make me happy. If I find a person who adds to my happiness, great. If not, I’m fine with that too." —Jess, 28
8. 'IT'S A WASTE OF TIME'
"I've never been married and for the first time in my life I have no interest in being in a relationship. I know I would never settle in a relationship because I have before, I know what it feels like, and it's a waste of precious time.
"It took me a few years of therapy and difficult self work to both find my voice and understand what I truly need and want in a partner. (Also, that work is and should be ongoing.) I think people settle because they succumb to social pressures; 'I'm getting older and should be in a relationship,' the myth that 'I may never find someone better so I should just take what I have now.' People aren't willing to take risks and worst of all, most humans are just scared of being alone and don't invest in getting to know themselves." —Vanessa, 33
9. 'I'VE BEEN THERE, DONE THAT'
"I was married for almost 20 years before my divorce of now just over three years [ago]. Since my divorce, I started a successful recruiting business and have been [with] a man who not only loves me, and whom I love, but he encourages me to grow in all aspects of my life. I've competed in figure competitions, ran marathons, learned how to swim and more. In addition, I am having the best sex of my life! Yes, women CAN have it all if we don't settle." —Rihan, 47
10. 'I WANT MIND-BOGGLING LOVE-MAKING'
"I've kissed enough frogs to not waste my time with smell good, look good, sweet talking, sexy dudes, who need a subservient quiet mate to support their desires. Maturity, mutual adoration, experience, deep self-confidence, independence, trust, true friendship, teamwork, spirituality, and wisdom create sex-appeal and mind-boggling love-making, or it's not gonna work for me.
"People settle and accept less when they are lonely (indicator of unfocused energy) and haven't taken the time to see if the person is capable of a deep, loving relationship based on higher vibrations/qualities. The key is getting the lesson from past mistakes and continuous advancement to the next level of self-love." —Elaine, 57
11. 'MY CAREER COMES FIRST'
"I’m single because, I valued acquiring my skill set through education over being in a relationship.
"However, now I work as a private investigator and polygraph examiner, so seeing the increasing amount of people coming to take polygraph tests to prove to their significant others that they aren’t cheating doesn’t exactly make me want to date or commit.
"I’ve seen so many people settle and I refuse to be one of them. I want someone who understands that my career does come first and that it does come with hesitations and may make me more fearful about commitment." —Lisa, 30