When My Mom Was 12, She Found Herself Pregnant With Me. When She Was 13 She Had Me. So I Have A Bit
When my mom was 12, she found herself pregnant with me. When she was 13 she had me. So I have a bit of information what it was like being raised by a teen mother. Some things I remember:
Sitting in the dressing room while my mom went to take her senior photos.
My mom dating boyfriend after boyfriend, some she was closer to and others not so much.
My mom sitting there after her wisdom teeth had been pulled out.
My Mom putting on far too much make-up and pretty revealing clothes, but I suppose a non-teenage mother might do the same thing.
My mom liked to go partying and doing what all teenagers like doing. Sometimes this included bringing me out while she drove around with her friends and I was in the trunk, watching from the hole in the seat. I was a kid. I enjoyed it.
My grandma and my Uncle being the main people who watched me when my mom was at her job or in school.
There were a few other downsides to having a teen mom, both because of the above and because of what her age did to affect me growing up.
I went to therapy at a young age because I didn’t know how to make friends. My mom was so busy making friends that she worried more about her situation than mine.
I ended up going to a foster home because one of my mother’s boyfriends’ decided to take advantage of a 6-year-old girl. My mom got me back with the expectation that she would not see him again. She ended up having a child of his a little over a year later.
I ended up becoming more of a parent to my brothers than my mom was because she preferred to do things other than take care of the kids in her free time.
I ended up learning financial skills that my mother still has not learned because I was always watching how my parents screwed up.
I ended up not having sex until I was 19. I learned waaaaay early on that I was not ready to be a parent. I am now, but am waiting to see if it comes naturally or if my husband and I have to look into other options when the time comes. I am 27 and still have time for that.
There is a lot that comes from being the child of a teenage parent. A lot that you learn and a lot that you discover about yourself and your parents. I may no longer talk to my mother, but I would not have given up having my mother and my past for anything. It got me to where I am today. <3
Edit: almost 50k views and 875 upvotes in less than a day! I didn't expect that! Thank you to all who read it and commented. A couple things:
People have asked how my relationship is with my mother now. I have, unfortunately,cut contact with my mother. She was abusive, manipulative and deceitful and was never going to see herself that way. She still sees herself as a good mom. I love my mother, I always will. I am glad she raised me because I would not be the person I am today without her. But I also know that I cannot be around her without feeling hurt and betrayed. She is my mother and certain things she did are not ok. I hope that makes sense without going into too much detail.
Someone had the misunderstanding that my mother was sexually abused or raped to have me at 12 years old. My mother was with her boyfriend of the same age. Teenagers can and do have sex at that age. It's not always the end result the teenagers want and most children at that age would choose to have an abortion or adopt out the child instead of keeping it. My mother made the choice to keep me. I respect her for making a decision like that at 12/13 years old. I do not recommend teenagers make that decision however. There are so many things you would miss being that age and having a child. My mother tried to have the best of both worlds and as some pointed out made very interesting decisions like having me in the trunk of a car just so she could hang out with her friends rather than staying home. What I saw as fun at that age is horrifying to others who see the experience and say “What the hell was she thinking?”.So yes, my mother was young, probably too young to be a good mother, but she tried her best, especially as a single mother for 6-odd years before my step-dad came into the picture.