10 Texts To Send Your Partner After A Fight To Show Them How Sorry You Are
The last thing I did before I started writing this today was literally send an apology text. True story. It wasn’t planned; just a (un)happy accident. Either the universe is telling me something or maybe I just spend a lot of time crafting apology messages — but we can save that existential crisis for another day. For now, let's just take this as a good indication that I am pretty well-versed in knowing what texts to send when you need to make amends with your partner after a fight.
There are some pros and cons to going the text route when it comes to apologies. On one hand, they can’t see the sincerity in your eyes, but they do offer the benefit of being able to get all of the wording exactly right. In addition, they don’t have the pressure to accept your apology on the spot and can take however much time they need to process what you had to say. It also means that you're relinquishing control of the situation by digitally putting the ball in their court, which can make waiting for a reply very, um, challenging. To be fair, if you messed up, it was probably tough already, am I right?
So, let's assume you blew it. You had a huge fight with your partner and you took things too far or said something that hurt your partner’s feelings. Now you've taken a breather and had a chance for cooler heads to prevail — only to realize your behavior was, well, not great and you owe them a big ol’ apology. How can you express to them how truly sorry you are over text? You stare at the screen and get a sudden case of shame-spiral writer’s block. Don't panic, I’ve got you covered with lots of ideas of what to say when it’s time to eat some digital crow. Feel free to use these as they are or as inspiration for your next text apology!
1. “Hey babe, I should never have [fill in the blank]. I'm so sorry I hurt you, and I promise I will not be so thoughtless again. Please forgive me.”
2. “You mean everything to me. Seeing you cry breaks my heart. I am so ashamed that I hurt you. Please forgive me and I swear to do better in the future.”
3. “You are such an amazing person and I feel terrible for letting you down. If you are open to forgiving me I will work to be a better person.”
4. “Hey. I feel sick about what was said last night. I would do anything to take it back, but I know I can’t, so all I can do is ask for your forgiveness and make a pledge to never be so careless with your heart again.”
5. “Hi hon, I've had some time to cool down and I realized I what I said/did was wrong. I acted so poorly and I am so sorry. I hear what you said and I am ready to make the changes you need. Forgive me?”
6. “I woke up this morning feeling terrible. I lost my temper and that is not OK. I am so very sorry for my behavior last night. I am going to get some help to learn how to deal with my frustration in better, healthier ways.”
7. “I am an idiot. A really, really, really sorry idiot. You were right. Please forgive me.”
8. “Hey. That fight was awful. I am so sorry for [your part in it] and I am willing to do whatever it takes for us to repair the relationship.”
9. “I feel sick about our fight. I feel like I really let you down. I promise to do better. I am so sorry.”
10. “I messed up. When you’re ready, can we please talk face to face? I owe you about a hundred apologies.”
Whether you decide to copy these apologies verbatim or write your own, there are three things every apology needs:
1.) Humility. There's no room for pride in an apology. You blew it, so own that sh*t.
2.) Validation. You hurt your partner, so let them know you see it and knowledge their feelings.
3.) Concrete promises of changed future behavior. Apologies are just empty words if there aren't actual behavioral changes to back them up.
Also, keep in mind that no matter how good the apology, you are never guaranteed their forgiveness. If your apology is just a formality so that you can "move forward," rather than a real expression of regret and a desire to to do better, then you are not really apologizing. Does that sound harsh? Sorry, not sorry.