20 Real Women Share What They Learned After A Breakup
We won't sugarcoat it: Changing your relationship status from "taken" to "single" is never easy. But there is a silver lining to your heartache—seriously. Breakups are the most opportune moments for you to step back and realize what you really want from love. To prove it, we asked Women's Health Facebook followers to share what they've learned after splitting up with a partner. Here are our 20 favorite responses:
"Never give more than you get back nor demand affection. Real love is willing and equal reciprocity." –Gabrielle S.
"Respect! It's not love but respect that I would want the most from my partner and appreciation for the sacrifices made." –Mitali J.
"I learned that my self worth does not depend on what he thinks of how my body looks, or what color my hair is. I alone am responsible for my happiness and self worth. Since leaving him, I have experienced true happiness and joy for the first time in a very long time." –Jen H.
"Going on nine months from my heartbreak, and I learned that you can't force somebody to love you the way you love them. And most importantly to never lose yourself in the process of loving someone else. You are so special and beautiful and for a man to make you feel unworthy of his love is not only his loss but can be your greatest mistake." –Marcie O.
"I've learned that there is so much more to life than finding a significant other. Marriage is not the end all be all of life! There are so many other aspects of life that so many miss out on wasting precious time and energy trying to find a supposed soul mate. Imagine what you could accomplish by putting that energy elsewhere!" –Dawn Z.
MORE: Is Timing the Reason You Haven't Found Your Soul Mate?
"I've learned that I can be independent, strong, and a role model for my kids. After my divorce, I found employment and was able to graduate from college at 39! And I can be self-sufficient—anyone can. [It] takes determination, drive, and desire to change one's life." –Felicia B.
"Don't change anything about yourself; keep your morals and values. Don't change to accommodate someone else. You'll regret it. Stay true to who you really are. And if he doesn't find you desirable or beautiful for the real you, get out of that. There's nothing sexier than a woman who knows what she's worth." –Leighanna P.
"Trust your gut... always." –Shelly T.
"I learned after being married for over 20 years that every woman should have their own financial advisor [and] not just listen to your husband!" –Debra M.
"I learned that you have to first love yourself to be loved by someone else. You have to know yourself and what you really want to get it." –Kim G.
"Do not jump to another relationship to get over past. Give yourself ample time." –Pooja S.
MORE: 3 Signs You Should Be Single—For Now
"As much as you want to focus on how bad the other person treated you during your marriage, both of you contributed to the issues within your relationship. You need to accept your responsibility." –Kelly H.
"It's not fair to expect people to change. They have the right to be who they are. You can only control how you react and what you're willing to deal with—and what you're not." –Brandee B.
"My divorce taught me to trust my instincts. Throughout my marriage, I relied on the opinions of others instead of giving weight to that voice inside me." –Anissa P.
"I learned that being [with] a partner does not define who I am. That I am an individual with my own brilliant ideas and thoughts, and my future partner will encourage me to shine as much as I encourage them." –Kimberly R.
"I found out why I could never get close to someone: I had a horrible fear of commitment. After we broke up, I sought to find a person to help me with it. Now, I am happily married with the greatest man I know." –Christine S.
"Nothing is wrong with giving someone a second chance. It sucks, especially after they’ve really hurt you. But it gives you a second chance to make things better for yourself and for the relationship. And if both ends are willing to work on things, then I think it's worth it." –Anjelina H.
"That a relationship should be an equal give and take. No ‘partner’ should be doing all of the giving or all of the taking." –Erin O.
"It is inevitable that you will change and grow as years pass. I learned that it's OK to let go of someone that will only hold you back. Never stop believing in yourself, or waiver on your dreams." –Evelyn M.
"Time heals the worst pain." –Eva H.
See! What did we tell you? Life goes on for the better. Of course, it takes time for a broken heart to mend, and everybody heals at different paces. To make the process go by more smoothly (however long it takes), check out these six rules for getting over a breakup the healthy way.
More from Women’s Health:
The 4 Biggest Breakup Mistakes
This Might Be the Best Breakup EVER
The 3 Best Ways to Get Over a Breakup