Role-Playing For Rookies
Some women are suckers for a man in uniform. Some men dream of de-robing a distressed damsel. Some of us got really turned on during the clay spinning scene between Demi Moore and Patrick Swayze in Ghost, and have always wanted to fuck near a wet pottery wheel wearing a sleeveless white button down.
Fantasizing about having sex as someone else is nothing new. Role playing has been around since people have had imaginations and sex drives. It is one of the long trusted, quintessential, go-to methods for sexually “spicing things up.” All you have to do is make-believe that you and your partner are different people in a different situation and you’ve instantly turned up the heat on your love oven.
When most of us think of role playing, the classic sexual archetypal characters come to mind: Teacher and student, traffic cop and reckless driver, prison guard and prisoner. The thing is, most of the common role-playing characters require some degree of costuming and staging. While for seasoned role-players this can be a sexy part of the experience, for those of us trying it out for the first time, it’s just plain awkward and cheesy.
Finding a fireman costume isn’t as easy or cost-effective as you might think. Then on top of the inevitably cheap-looking wardrobe you’ve managed to put together, you’ve got the fact that we aren’t all natural-born actors. What do you say? How do you say it? Do you use an accent? How can you stop the giggles from exploding forth from your anxiety-ridden subconscious? Well, fear not fellow role playing rookies — This textbook sex trick is well within your reach! There are plenty of ways to employ role playing without going to the lengths of a fully staged production. You don’t even have to pretend to be anyone else; go ahead and role play as yourself! All you need to do are make a few minor environmental and perceptive adjustments.
Here are a few starter ideas for how to role play the realistic way:
For this particular scenario, all you have to do is pretend not to know each other. Spend some time apart during the day, then make plans to go to the same bar around the same time, but arrive separately. When you get there, act like strangers to each other. Lock eyes across the room, maybe send over a drink, then introduce yourself and flirt like it’s the first time you’re meeting. Exchange stories you probably already know about each other (it can be a good memory refresher.) Then go home and have the kind of hot sex that almost never happens on the “first date.”
Mock Make-Up Sex
Sex after a fight is always hot, super charged with fiery energy, and the lustful ardor lingers with us long after the dust of the disagreement settles. You don’t necessarily have to have an argument to recreate this unique brand of lovin’. Have fake-up sex! Create an imaginary disagreement about something inconsequential like which boxed cereal is the best of all time (arguing about significant issues can turn the fake fight real before you know it.) Let the fabricated feud reach a boiling point resembling a real squabble, and proceed to rip each others’ clothes off and commit to the fervent fornication of two angry lovers at the dusk of their quarrel.
Chances are, you and your partner have settled into comfortable roles with one another in the bedroom. One of you may tend to be a little more submissive while the other is a bit more dominant. Or perhaps one of you is the “sex initiator” or the “position determiner”, while the other just goes with the flow. While having a routine can lead to very efficient lovemaking, it can also get boring after a while, so try switching up those standard bedroom roles for an entirely different sexual experience.
If you’re typically more acquiescent during sex, make some direct demands. If you’re usually more vocal, quiet down a little and let your partner take the lead. Assume one another’s sexual personalities and use some of their own trademark sexy time moves. Who knows, they might like it.
At a certain point in every relationship, sweats and t-shirts become regular date-night garb. After a while, we tend to forget how attractive we find our partners until they throw some paint on the old barn. For this rookie role-playing method, pick one night to be your “fancy pants” night. Save up for a couple weeks and go to an upscale restaurant together dressed in your flashiest formal wear. Order champagne and oysters, go wild! Of course you should still be yourselves, but be the fancy version of yourselves. Become honorary members of high society for a day, and then have a night of lavish love-making to classical music and candlelight to top it all off.
This is a great scenario to try out if you’re looking to take your role playing game from amateur to semi-pro, without having to worry about going off-brand. Why? Because you’ll be playing roles that you already know!
Either you or your partner can choose to be the “worker”, and role play a situation that would sex up their (or your) real life job. If you’re a bartender, try a bartender/barfly scenario; if you’re a sound engineer, play out the engineer/artist fantasy and get busy in the soundproof booth (aka closet). This is stepping it up a level because, unless you’re the partner playing your own job, you might have to do a little bit more acting. But if you’re up to the challenge, occupational role play can be the most fun of these methods because it takes you completely outside the environment that your relationship normally functions within.