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Ask Emily: How Important Is Being A Good Kisser?

Dear Emily,

I love your show and really appreciate your advice. My question isn’t about sex though, it’s about kissing. Hope that’s okay.

I’m wondering, how important is a guy’s ability to deliver a kiss to women?  

Also, can a guy who struggles to deliver the kiss ever make it up somewhere else?

I’m really nervous about my kissing skills, and I want the women I date to like me.

It’s making me really nervous, especially on first dates. 

Thanks,
Jeff
Dublin, CA

Dear Jeff,

The kiss, especially the first kiss, is a very important barometer for most women. Often, this first kiss is an indicator if they’ll want to move the relationship to the next level of intimacy.

So, in short, yes it is important.

However, there are things you can do to ensure the first kiss, and the many kisses afterward are up to muster.

First, you can ask your partner to kiss you the way she’d like to be kissed. Then switch! You kiss her the way you like to be kissed. Now that you’ve both demonstrated what you like, you can learn from these instructions and implement ASAP.

Being a good kisser is subjective. What one person likes in a kiss, another might hate. Stay in the moment during a kiss, and try to follow the flow of the kiss. Be attentive to body language. Don’t lead with your tongue. Also, practice (and feedback) makes perfect. Before you know it, you’ll be an award-winning kisser. 

As for your second question, “can a guy who struggles to deliver the kiss, make it up somewhere else,” I’m afraid this is a case by case basis.

But if kissing is like a dance and if you can figure out how to flow together with your kisses, everything else will fall into place.

xx,

Emily.

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