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How To Stop Lying To Yourself And To Your Partner

Stop trying to convince yourself. Most people lie to themselves because they want to convince themselves that the lie is the truth. And it’s a dangerous game. Eventually, you’ll only believe what you choose to believe and you’ll start to erase all other thoughts that make you look bad from your mind.

On the other hand, do you avoid telling the truth because you’re afraid the truth will make you appear weak or vulnerable?

The different reasons behind why you may be lying

Here are seven common reasons behind why people lie compulsively. Do you find yourself agreeing with any of these reasons?

1 It comes naturally and it’s easy. It’s like waving hello to someone on the street. You’re so used to lying, you don’t think before lying.

2 You feel ashamed. You lie to cover up a few things about yourself that you’re ashamed about, be it your upbringing, your past relationships or something else.

3 You don’t want to hurt someone else. You fear you’d break someone else’s heart by telling the truth. In most cases, you’ve done something wrong intentionally and you know that revealing your weak moment will only hurt the one you love.

4 You don’t want to be judged. Some people just can’t imagine letting anyone else know their deep, dark secrets. If you live a secret life and don’t want people to judge you negatively because of your interests, you may end up lying.

5 You don’t want to get hurt. It’s easier to lie than face the consequences of your actions. At the same time, you should realize that your lie may get someone else in trouble.

6 You think it’s the easier way out. Telling the truth is complicated and very difficult. And the worst part, it could affect you negatively and make your life messier at times.

7 You don’t respect yourself. You don’t think you have a genuine answer that’s convincing enough. You think you’re not good enough and no truthful reason you have is good enough to convince someone.

Ways to stop lying

The benefits of lying may be several, but it all comes down to this. Do you like the person you’ve become? Do you like lying to the ones who love you and trust you with all their heart?

If you genuinely want to stop lying and transform your life into a happy, guilt free and less panicky existence, here’s what you need to do.

1 Understand the fact. Realize that the lying is getting out of control. You don’t like the fact that you lie so much to everyone, so why lie?

2 Have self respect. Most liars don’t have self respect. They believe that the truth would make them appear bad. Believe in yourself and respect yourself. You’ll become a better person and refrain from doing anything that may force you to lie.

3 Have moral principles. If you have strong principles and follow them, you won’t have to lie to anyone. Be your own judge and avoid indulging in something that you have to lie about. If you have to lie about it, you do know that whatever you’re doing is wrong, so why do it in the first place?

4 If you’re wrong, you’re wrong. Learn to accept your fault instead of letting someone else take the blame. Sometimes, the consequences can feel better than the guilt.

5 Don’t answer too fast. It’s alright to take time to think. Compulsive liars don’t think before they talk. Lies just flow out even before they make up their mind about whether they want to lie or tell the truth.

6 Put yourself in the other person’s shoes. Would you like to be lied to all the time? Wouldn’t you feel hurt if you knew that your partner is constantly lying through their teeth for no reason at all?

7 Talk to someone you trust. Tell a trustworthy person to avoid judging you and tell them your deepest secrets. If you can’t brave up to it, do it on paper, with an anonymous friend or share it in the comments below. You’ll feel better about yourself.

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Jennifer B. Alcantar

Jennifer B. Alcantar

Relationship Coach

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