3 Ways To Keep Your Marriage Strong When Your Adult Children Still Live With You
1. Decide, together, what you want life to be for both of you
Discuss what you want to do as a couple from here on out. Discuss how you will make things happen for you. What are your expectations for your marriage now that you have worked all of your adult years and raised your children and are ready to take the next steps in life?
What activities do you want to be involved in by yourself and with your spouse? How much do you believe you need to work and what kind of job do you want to have? How many days a week do you want to devote to working, and how many days do you want to be free to play or just be?
These are just a few of the questions that might be raised in your discussion with each other. You may think of others which is great. The main goal is that you have these discussions and make some decisions for yourselves related to how you want your life to look now and in the future.
2. Communicate openly with one another
It is so important to spend time talking with each other and not airing your dislikes or concerns to your adult children. If you have an issue with your spouse, it is a must to talk to your spouse about it.
If you have an issue with your adult children, you need to bring it to the attention of your spouse and address it with them. Communicate with your spouse about what is bothering you and how you feel about it.
Then the two of you can come up with a plan for how to fix the problem. It may be very difficult to have a conversation with your adult children, but the two of you have talked and are able to present your plan together.
Remember, your adult children do not have to like the plan, but it is important for you to have one so that you don’t feel abused or taken advantage of by your adult children.
3. Always stand with your spouse
When you have discussions about your life together, be united. When your adult children are living in your house and/or are making demands of you, the two of you need to talk and express to them that you are united in your decisions.
Even if your children have been used to playing one against the other and it worked for them in the past, now is the time to decide you will be united in your decisions.
Being united includes your thoughts and actions you take when it comes to your adult children and what they seemingly need. It may be that your decision is to let them know that you will rescue them only one time.
The rest of the time you may need to let them know that it is their responsibility to figure out how to overcome a certain issue or situation. If they ask for your input, you can give it if you want to or you can say that you trust they will figure it out.
If they do not ask for your input, resist the temptation to give it, even if you think they could benefit from hearing it. Look to each other for help with these types of situations.