“Will Using A Vibrator Too Often Sabotage My Sex Life?”
The numbers don’t lie: we love a buzzing buddy! Eighty-four percent of those who say they use toys opt for vibrators — and no wonder: a study by the US Berman Centre found that women who get their buzz on may orgasm more easily than non-users.
But there’s a frightening little rumour floating around, and it goes a little something like this: Your battery-operated buddy is sabotaging your sex life by desensitising your clitoris. But before you relegate your vibrator to a locked dresser drawer, consider this: Simply using a vibrator won’t put a damper on your sex life. Rather, it’s how often you use it that counts.
Overdoing it, like anything in excess, has a downside. Gulp… Desensitisation? “Yes,” says Dr Rachel Ross, a family medicine physician and co-host of DStv’s The Doctors.
“It may take more time, pressure and intensity for you or your partner to bring you to orgasm the old-school way. If you notice you’re having a tougher time climaxing than usual, take a break from the toy for a few weeks and then use it only in moderation — no more than three times a week.”
And it’s up to you whether that’s a problem for you or your guy. “It’s totally okay if she’s okay with it,” says Dr. Jane Minkin. “I think that’s how vibrators get a bad rap. They’re not truly desensitising, but they could cause some women to need more stimulation.”
In fact, most women find a “blended orgasm”—one in which clitoral and vaginal stimulation are combined—to be the most satisfying. Vibrators not only provide one part of that two-piece explosive equation, but “vibrator use tends to stimulate pelvic flow,” says Minkin. In other words, a vibrator used during the act can help keep you lubricated for the other (vaginal) things you’re enjoying.
Stimulate two hot spots at once by rubbing your clitoris with one finger while your vibe is inside you. “Move the toy in a tick-tock motion,” suggests sexologist Dr Jessica O’Reilly.