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I Got Pregnant When I Was 16 Years Old And Gave Birth 8 Months Later.

I was told by a stranger I was a bad person who’s making my child suffer from my young actions. Does teen pregnancy make you a bad person?

All Comments (20)
  • Kimberly Dressler

    Kimberly Dressler

    2020-02-12 00:48:26

    I’ve known lots of teenage mothers, and no, they are not bad because they got pregnant at that age. Did they make some poor decisions? Yes, just like all of us make poor decisions from time to time. What matters is what you do with your life right now, day by day, and moment by moment.

    You are giving your baby lots of love, and that is exactly what your baby needs! Your baby also needs stability, consistency, and a lot of care. Hopefully you are meeting your child’s needs with some help from others. I hope you continue to keep stable and loving people in your life, because we all need help from time to time, but especially when raising young children.

    I imagine your baby has already changed you, right? Now, it’s not a matter of what you want, but rather it’s about your baby and what your baby needs. I’ve seen teen mothers who learned nothing from the experience . One was pregnant again a year later, and then a year later after that, all while neglecting her children.

    But I’ve seen teen moms for whom pregnancy was the catalyst for great change in their lives. I had one student in the 8th grade, and she was very friendly with the boys. Sure enough, she was pregnant in the 9th grade. I got to have her again in 11th and 12th grade— what a change from grade 8! She was a remarkable young woman, about a hundred times more responsible and wise than the average teenager. She was focused on doing the best she could at whatever was in front of her. She had plans for her life, and was getting training so she could get a good job— all to give her daughter the best life possible.

    If someone told you that you were bad for getting pregnant, the best answer to give them is to show them, over time, a life well lived. I’m praying for a great life for you and for your child.

  • Kene Mokgethwa

    Kene Mokgethwa

    2020-02-12 00:48:26

    NOTHING MAKES YOU BAD UNLESS YOU FEEL SAME FOR YOU WHEN YOU SEE YOURSELF IN MIRROR.

    Never judge yourself by other's specially stranger's opinion or judgments about you.

    Nobody can judge other unless they walk in your shoes.

    Teen pregnancy is outcome of immature act of love & sex,it's not a sin of mankind.

    Frankly speaking nuclear family specially money & luxury minded family are facing lots problem with teens & it's related complications.

    If you don't have time for your kids specially when they are teen,someone around your house will definitely have time for your kids to exploit him/get sexually as he/she know very well that you have no time for your own kids as you are money minded pig.

    So first we need to blame parents who leave their kids behind alone to fulfill their money desire.

    Money is needed to live nicely but what will you do with your money when your own teen kid get trouble by pregnancy & drugs.

  • Kene Mokgethwa

    Kene Mokgethwa

    2020-02-12 00:48:26

    We all take certain decisions that might put us in a spot. Inspite the consequences of our actions ,sometimes with regrets , however there is always a lesson.

    Teenage pregnancy is not encouraged due to several risks involved, which includes health,(for both mother and child) social stigma, financial demands, it cuts short the career propects of the lady in question and poses the infant to precarious future as well.

    Yet nature is divine, it is not a death sentence and most often mother and child will just be fine.

    Getting pregnant does not make you a bad person and for carrying the pregnancy full term without contemplating abortion is even a pointer to a heart of gold. Neither did you offer the child up for adoption equally shows you are a good person.

    Take time and be who you always wanted to be, by pursuing your dreams. It will be more demanding with a baby, but I assure you , we are tougher than what we ever imagine, just decide to be an overcomer and miracle takes over.

    Decide too to be a good mother to your baby, someday it will be not only fulfilling but very rewarding. No one is perfect, overlook people's jugements, is not goin to reduce or increase you.

    Just as jesus said “he without sin should cast the first stone “

  • Manson baby

    Manson baby

    2020-02-12 00:48:26

    I had 3 kids by the time I was 21. I don’t think it was maybe the smartest thing to do, and looking back, I am positive I would have waited. Being a “bad”person has to be more than making a decision based on your maturity level at the time.

    I would say that bad people make decisions that hurt other people and know at the time that that is their plan. The callous indifference to other peoples suffering separates good and bad people in my book. Some people have no conscience and feel no remorse. These people are the ones that commit crimes against society (think Adolf Hitler or any of the many serial killers you can think of).

    Are you a bad person? Maybe, I don’t know you well. Are you a bad person because you had a baby while you were young? No way! People used to get married in their teens all the time in previous generations. The fact that you love your baby makes you better than a lot of older moms I have met in my lifetime.

    Don’t let other people define you (especially strangers, who do they think they are?!). They don’t get to do that. You are your child’s mother and that is all that matters, what your child thinks of you and what YOU think of you.

  • Tammy M Spann

    Tammy M Spann

    2020-02-12 00:48:26

    Ideally we should all desist thinking of actions and events as good or bad. Maybe we should start classifying them as appropriate or inappropriate.

    Because an action is not in itself innately good or bad - various factors such as intention, timing, etc would determine whether or not it was positive.

    Having a child is an immense responsibility - physically, mentally, emotionally and financially. It would be appropriate to plan the pregnancy when one is equipped in these areas before venturing out.

    We are in an era where everyone wants everything when they want it not when it is appropriate. Unfortunately, what we do has consequences which sometimes haunt not only the person taking the action but some innocent people who are at the receiving end of these actions.

    In this situation, the baby did not ask to be born. Is a 16 year old capable of taking care of this baby physicality, mentally, emotionally and financially? It is hard enough when you are older (hopefully more emotionally mature) and financially independent and have a partner to share the responsibility with.

    You have an incredibly tough job ahead of you. Do not waste any energy wondering if you are good or bad. Also, it does not matter what anyone thinks of you.

    You just need to focus on this child. The child needs all the attention, care and love that it can get from this world. Do whatever you need to do to provide this.

    Build a network of caring people - the child’s biological father and his family members, your parents, your siblings, your friends who will help you in this process. Be watchful not to fall into the trap of feeling sorry for yourself because you can't indulge in the carefree living of other 16 year olds. That is just not an option at this point.

    Not only do you have to do the providing for the child - you have to provide for yourself. You are only 16. You still need to get an education; need to grow emotionally. You need to allow for that.

  • Tammy M Spann

    Tammy M Spann

    2020-02-12 00:48:26

    It will be an uphill struggle. But it will be worth it. With the help of family and friends and an intense focus, you can make it happen. You will become strong and capable and life will become a breeze as time passes. You will fear nothing.

    You will become capable of making good choices. This is called Living.

  • Andressa

    Andressa

    2020-02-12 00:48:26

    I am not a Christian, but I know that in the Christian Bible there is a quote: “Let he who is without sin cast the first stone.” That stranger had no right to make a judgement about you. He or she is definitely far from perfect, and the comment indicates that.

    In general teenagers who have babies have a harder time finding the resources, financial, emotional and social, to provide the most supportive environment for themselves and thus their children. However, they can provide the most important thing: unselfish love. If your child has that, then he or she is way ahead of many, many other children.

    Teenagers who have babies often lose the opportunity to develop themselves as well. That hinders their ability to help their children develop.

    Do the best you can for your child by finding and using whatever support services are available for you and him/her. Don’t be afraid to ask teachers, counselors, doctors, etc. for advice in finding these services. Make sure to continue to grow yourself academically, emotionally and socially as well. Do all you can to learn about parenting, child development, etc.

    By investing energy in yourself as a person, you can achieve the skills and character to become the kind of caring, supportive parent that any child would be lucky to have. —and keep giving that unselfish love. Good luck to both of you!!

  • Lacey Orner

    Lacey Orner

    2020-02-13 03:01:43

    Absolutely not I got prego whn I was 18 it was on my 18th birthday nd my daughter is now 12 almost 13 nd I would not take it back for anything in this world she was a health 7p 5 ounces nd 21 1\2 inches long had natural no drugs nd won't ever do it again without an epidural I can tell u tht but I will never ever regret having neither of my 2 beautiful healthy girl ever they have mad my life better in so many ways!!!!!!

  • Kortney Desiderio

    Kortney Desiderio

    2020-02-13 22:40:36

    I'm a teen Mom and my daughter is 3 my family don't talk to me and I try my best by myself nothing can make you a bad mom unless you believe them your child will tell you yourself because that's all that matters is your child needs nobody else

  • Tasha Ell

    Tasha Ell

    2020-02-14 13:56:23

    Ignore the people who say that. Unless you're not doing anything or taking care of your baby they have no clue as to if you're a good or bad mom. Age does NOT make you a bad mother. I was 15 when I got pregnant. I worked full time and did schooling at home to finish. Every minute of my life went to my child. It's not easy but I wouldnt change it for the world. I did everything I could possibly do for my daughter and she didnt need for anything because I made sure she had it. Its definitely not easy but well worth it as long as you're responsible and mature enough to put the child before yourself. Some teens don't and still try doing what they want and put the baby on the parents or whoever and thats why we all get judged. I still had my family though so I wasn't alone. But I stepped up worked full time and made sure I was the one fully taking care of my child because it was my responsibility. Just hang in there and do what you have to do. Ignore the people judging because of your age because it's not worth it. My daughter is now 16 and a straight A student at a college preparatory high school, preparing for college. Just raise the baby right.

  • Queenie Eaglman

    Queenie Eaglman

    2020-02-16 15:42:04

    Excuse my language But Hell No it doesn't I got pregnant at 9years old gave birth at 10years of age and I loved my daughter as a matter of fact her birthday was Valentine's Day.Dont listen to others as long as you do what's best for your child and your child is safe and happy and has everything she or he needs forget what others have to say

  • Malai Moseby Plummer

    Malai Moseby Plummer

    2020-02-17 02:12:49

    Not judging I was became a young mother as well but 9 how was that?

  • Porsche MJay GibsonWright

    Porsche MJay GibsonWright

    2020-02-17 14:44:46

    I became a teen mom when I was 17 going through life or death situation (I had cancer) I chose my child . She was my life saver. Don’t let anyone get in your way of completing you.

  • Crazy Corgi Lady

    Crazy Corgi Lady

    2020-02-17 16:08:42

    it's not your fault, who ever told you that is a piece of shit

  • Crazy Corgi Lady

    Crazy Corgi Lady

    2020-02-17 16:09:02

    and a waste of air

  • Katelyn Hauber

    Katelyn Hauber

    2020-02-18 06:17:55

    no my grandma was a teen mum and so was my great grandma she she was a teen mum too ao ur not a bad person

  • Chauntae Ridley

    Chauntae Ridley

    2020-02-19 02:33:24

    no people back in the day were having kids at fucking 14 now it's such a crime since times have changed

  • Alli Ihnken

    Alli Ihnken

    2020-02-23 23:30:27

    Not at all. Don’t listen to people who say that.

  • Chasity Garcia

    Chasity Garcia

    2020-03-02 02:19:47

    no it does not because i was 16 when i had my daughter

  • Alexis Mcdonough

    Alexis Mcdonough

    2020-03-03 01:29:16

    may I ask was it purposely or accidentally or forced. I'm not judging I just like asking questions

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Mary Alice Brandon

Mary Alice Brandon

Whether or not life will be better, I will be better myself.

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