Open In App Open In App

Should I Tell My Family?

There is a possibility that I'm pregnant, but I'm not able to have the baby. I don't have medical. I'm 16 and I'm terrified of my family finding out if it is so. What should I do?

what should I do?
  • tell my family
  • ask my boyfriend go to the hospital with me
  • go to the hospital alone
All Comments (10)
  • HealthLogic247

    HealthLogic247

    2020-02-19 04:37:51

    find a Women's Clinic and go there. Or go to your own dr and tell him you don’t want your parents to know. Just show up and tell the nurse you need to speak privately with him.
    Or buy a pregnancy tester quietly. If you are, then you WILL have to tell your parents. No way out. Unless you are afraid of abuse. In that case, again, go to your doctor, or A doctor. The longer you ignore it the worse it will get.

  • Tanisha

    Tanisha

    2020-02-19 04:37:51

    If you live in the U.S., you probably qualify for coverage of regular health care expenses through Medicaid.

    See if there's a pregnancy resource center in your area. The people there can help you and help connect you with local resources.

    Chances are that, if you're pregnant, it won't really be as much of a surprise to your parents as you might think. You know your parents better than I, but disappointing them at this point is probably the least of your worries. Right now, you're panicking, but when you get a little older you'll realize that this is not the end of the world. You have a lot of choices to make, but there are resources out there to help.

  • Bari Bledsoe

    Bari Bledsoe

    2020-02-19 04:37:51

    What do you mean by “I'm not able to have the baby”? Outside of some sort of very rare medical abnormality, you should be able to have a baby — 16 year olds have been having babies since the beginning of time. I can understand being scared, but you might find that your family will be more understanding than you give them credit for — both your mom and dad were teenagers once, they do understand . . . might be hard for you to believe this, but your generation of teenagers isn't the first one to be “messing around” when mom and dad aren't looking; the odds are that your parents were once “misbehaving” teenagers themselves. And even if your parents weren't, they had friends who were.

    Anyway, TELL YOUR PARENTS. I would say tell your mom, then let her tell your dad, but that's just what would work best for me.

  • MurphMFT-BBCRGV

    MurphMFT-BBCRGV

    2020-02-19 04:37:51

    Your question is confusing. What makes you think you are not able to have a baby? If you are not able to have a baby, you wouldn’t be pregnant, right?
    And you don’t have a medical what? Medical is an adjective which describes a noun, but your sentence has no noun.
    Anyone who is sexually active runs the chance of conceiving, and should have all possible scenarios taken into consideration before the act! Sex naturally leads to procreation, most of the time. Fact of life! If you are still living with & depending on your parents for support, yeah, they will find out. If not, then you can be declared an emancipated minor, & they won’t have to know.

  • Chanros

    Chanros

    2020-02-19 04:37:51

    You need to start prenatal care ASAP so you’re taking good care of both of you. If your mom won’t take you, the pregnancy resource center in your area will help you find a doctor and will also provide things like diapers and clothes if you keep the baby. Everything is free, and the compassion will help you not to feel alone in this.

    Thousands of women have been in your shoes. You can do this. Be strong and brave. Don’t wait another day to tell your parents and unburden yourself from this big secret. You need their help and support, and if by chance they won’t provide that, find it in other family members or friends. If you belong to a church, they often provide support in many ways (some even provide housing). You’re not alone, and God is always there to comfort, guide, and walk alongside you thru this journey.

  • Chanros

    Chanros

    2020-02-19 04:37:51

    Why are you terrified of your family finding out? If they’re abusive or unloving, I can understand. In that case, take a trusted friend, teacher, counselor, pastor, or other relative with you so it’ll lessen the chance of an explosion and give you more confidence. But if you’re afraid of disappointing them, I won’t lie, you’ll likely disappoint them, but they’ll get over it. I hope you have loving, caring parents, who’ll come alongside you in this challenging situation once they recover from their initial shock. Tell them that you need their support; this isn’t a time for lectures.

    Your 3 options are keep the baby, adopt out the baby, and abort the baby. None are easy; all have consequences, all involve levels of pain and hardship. The first two will at least free you from the guilt/sorrow/regret of an abortion (I only say this because I’ve known many people who’ve had abortions who ALL experience those things, and the women who came to the post-abortion grief recovery groups did too).

    Think about 5 or 10 years from now. What will make you most proud of your choice? What will be best for the baby?

    People like to say “it’s your body”, but they somehow sidestep that there’s another body in there, the baby’s body, and that baby has no voice for itself. It is completely dependent on you, the defender of the weak and voiceless. Am I building a case for you to give birth? Obviously yes. Because it’s the only way to avoid doing something that’ll haunt you for the rest of your life. Would you have wanted to be aborted if your mom got pregnant at 16? Think about it…a precious new life is growing! It’s actually a blessing and a gift.

  • Chanros

    Chanros

    2020-02-19 04:37:51

    First of all, take a deep breath. No need to panic. Not having medical coverage isn’t a reason to not have a baby; there is medical assistance available to you. The very first thing to do is take a pregnancy test to find out for sure.

    Others have said not to go to a pregnancy resource center, but I used to volunteer at one, and I can tell you that we offered totally compassionate care, free pregnancy tests, free ultrasounds, and free counseling on your options. As you probably know, they are not in favor of abortion. But these days, with all the info available about what an abortion actually is and how it’s done, as well as the info about how it affects the mother emotionally, most people aren’t in favor of it any more either. Usually abortions are done because the baby is “inconvenient”, but it is in fact a baby that is depending on you to protect and nurture it.

    There’s also a wonderful organization called Embrace Grace (embracegrace.com) who helps young single women with unplanned pregnancies. Go to the website and watch videos of other women in your situation. Call them. You can also call 855-382-5433 to speak with a kind counselor for free who’ll help you.

  • Lisa Olson

    Lisa Olson

    2020-02-19 04:37:51

    If you know that you don’t want this pregnancy, abortion is available through many clinics and Planned Parenthood. The cost varies a lot, but Planned Parenthood is a great place to get cheap, reliable information and care. In most states, you don’t need parental consent since a pregnant teen is considered emancipated and can make their own medical decisions. And most clinics won’t check your ID anyway because they are anonymous. I learned much of this from googling, so if your parents don’t check your computer, do some research. Make sure and clean your search history anyway to be safe.

    If you’re uncertain, you’re probably not far along if you are pregnant. That means you have some time to think. Make sure you consider all of the options, and ultimately go with your gut. You have to live with your decision forever, so take it seriously. Whatever you decide, you can make it work, though no option is easy. Adoption is also an option if you’re willing to carry the pregnancy, but it's not easy to give away your child. Don’t let people convince you that it’s easy or that you have a responsibility to give your child to someone who can’t have one. You don’t owe a child to anyone, period. They have their problems and you have yours. Right now, you need to focus on yours. Again, go with what your gut is telling you; this is one area where it will not lead you astray. You know what feels like relief, and what feels like horror. Trust that. Good luck to you, luv.

  • brooke murray

    brooke murray

    2020-02-19 04:37:51

    If you know that you don’t want this pregnancy, abortion is available through many clinics and Planned Parenthood. The cost varies a lot, but Planned Parenthood is a great place to get cheap, reliable information and care. In most states, you don’t need parental consent since a pregnant teen is considered emancipated and can make their own medical decisions. And most clinics won’t check your ID anyway because they are anonymous. I learned much of this from googling, so if your parents don’t check your computer, do some research. Make sure and clean your search history anyway to be safe.

    If you’re uncertain, you’re probably not far along if you are pregnant. That means you have some time to think. Make sure you consider all of the options, and ultimately go with your gut. You have to live with your decision forever, so take it seriously. Whatever you decide, you can make it work, though no option is easy. Adoption is also an option if you’re willing to carry the pregnancy, but it's not easy to give away your child. Don’t let people convince you that it’s easy or that you have a responsibility to give your child to someone who can’t have one. You don’t owe a child to anyone, period. They have their problems and you have yours. Right now, you need to focus on yours. Again, go with what your gut is telling you; this is one area where it will not lead you astray. You know what feels like relief, and what feels like horror. Trust that. Good luck to you, luv.

  • Lisa Olson

    Lisa Olson

    2020-02-19 04:37:51

    You don’t have to tell anyone you don’t want to. But, if you have a friend who you can really, totally, and completely trust to keep this a secret forever, it will be easier for you to not have to go through this alone. If you’re worried you can’t trust a friend, then it’s best to just not tell anyone since it might get back to your parents. I don’t know why you’re scared though. If your parents are abusive, or are so religious that they’ll kick you out, then it’s best they not know. But, if you’re just worried about them being disappointed, consider that your parents were kids once. They know these things happen. If they love you, and you know they love you, they’ll likely support you. I know that if my daughter ever comes to me as a teen one day saying she’s pregnant, I’ll be disappointed but it won’t change a single thing: I’ll still love her and support her and help her however I can. Most parents feel the same, even if it doesn’t always feel like it during the teen years.

    So, first things first. Take a home test somewhere like a gas station bathroom. Somewhere your parents won’t find anything. If you’re not pregnant, big sigh of relief, and just be careful not to get in this situation again. Condoms are free at Planned Parenthood. Birth control is either free or cheap. Take precautions because this is your body and your health and your life.

    If you are pregnant, you have to decide what to do. Please avoid those “pregnancy help/crisis centers” unless you’re certain you want to keep it. If you are certain, they can actually help you with resources. If you’re uncertain or want an abortion, they’ll mislead you with loads of false information to try to get you to keep the pregnancy.

About Author
Meme Queen

Meme Queen

Passionate about making people laugh and smile!

  • 247

    Follower

  • 0

    Following

  • 4136

    Liked

Your Accurate Personal Period Tracker & Ovulation Calculator.

Download Lunar and join us now!

Download Lunar and join us now!