4 New Ways To Use Bondage During Sex
The “B” in BDSM—bondage—is one of the most popular forms of kinky sex out there. Plenty of people are into tying their partner up, or being tied up by their partner, for that matter—but did you know there's more to bondage than restraining the wrists and hands?
Why? It's accessible—a relatively easy way to spice up your sex life. You can use a t-shirt or necktie to create a makeshift set of restraints, or even buy low-key velcro handcuffs. But, before you go tying your partner to the headboard, did you know there's more to bondage than tying wrists and hands? If you and your partner are both down, you might enjoy dabbling in breast bondage. Or foot bondage. Or yes, even penis bondage.
The goal isn't always to restrict movement; sometimes, bondage can highlight certain body parts, says Goddess Aviva, a BDSM educator and professional dominatrix. If you were to wrap your partner's torso in an intricate rope pattern, for instance, you might be "making that part of the body more vulnerable and sensitive, and creative various sensations both erotic and painful." Damn. Cue the full-body shivers.
Here are four different types of bondage you may never have heard of before.
Have you ever come across a photo of those intricate Japanese bra-like harnesses made entirely of rope? (If not, check this out.) The practice is calling Shinju Bondage, after the Japanese word for "pearl," explains Daniel Saynt, founder of The New Society for Wellness (NSFW), a sex-positive members-only club that hosts sexual education workshops with a focus in BDSM.
This type of bondage is designed to focus on the chest and arms, highlighting the breasts as a focal point. “There are benefits to breast bondage because they don't contain any bones and yet are full of nerve endings,” Saynt says. “A love of breasts and an interest in nipple play and domination make for amazing sessions when breast bondage is included.”
Are you intrigued? Aviva recommends searching "simple chest harness" on YouTube if you're just starting out and need a tutorial.
Penis bondage and ball bondage
Penis bondage, sometimes referred to as "cock bondage" or "chastity training," is a form of bondage that includes rope bondage and the use of "cock cages." The point of the play is to restrain erections. Ball bondage often goes hand-in-hand with penis bondage. They're essential components of “cock and ball torture" (CBT), a form of BDSM that focuses on the penis owner's "chastity" for a role-play scene.
You might be thinking: Ouch. What? And that would be fair—but for those who are into it, it’s a very sexy form of power exchange; you’re literally giving up control of your penis and balls to another person.
Exercise caution when trying this kind of play, and be sure to do your homework first. “The goal isn't to cause damage, it's to enhance pleasure through the introduction of temporary pain,” Saynt says. “Always pay attention to discolouration or lack of sensation when binding the penis.” (If you notice those things happening, STOP.)
Foot bondage uses ropes to accentuate the feet. As you might imagine, foot bondage is sometimes tied to foot fetish; it combines the bondage aspect of BDSM with the love of feet.
But that's not the case for everyone, Aviva points out: Foot bondage can go beyond a fetish, as it can be used to immobilise the submissive partner by tying their feet to the bed or another piece of furniture. You can use smaller ropes to tie the feet up, creating foot-harnesses that feature the foot and toes.
If tying knots isn't your thing, you can use other foot-focused gear, Saynt says. “Foot stocks and binders can also be incorporated into play, allowing you to enjoy foot bondage without having to be skilled at ropes."