How To Make Boob Sex Actually Enjoyable, Because It Should Be
I say, "boob." You say..."sex," right? Ehhh, probably not.
While the phrase boob sex might not be the first thing you think of when contemplating or talking about your girls, it might be worth bringing to the front of your mind.
That's because, quite simply, breast sex—a.k.a. titty f*cking (cringe)—can spice things up in the bedroom, especially when you're not in the mood for any down-under action (like, on your heaviest period days, when you're feeling bleh AF).
"We tend to get bored with the same-old, same-old routine with sex, so having sex with your partner's boobs [or your own] is a way to change up the routine," explains Gigi Engle, a certified sex coach and author of forthcoming All the F*cking Mistakes. "It's also a fun way to enjoy sexual play if your partner isn't feeling penetrative or oral sex."
Cool, cool, cool...but, umm, does this even feel good? Great Q, girlfriend. But before jumping into the dirty deets, let's make sure everyone's on the same page...
Boob sex is pretty much what it sounds like.
Of course, everyone and anyone is welcome to try out some titty time, but the term boob sex in particular generally refers to a male (penis-bearing person) thrusting his member in between a pair of breasts, which, btw, you're squeezing together.
While this can be arousing for some women—more on that in a minute—it's considered a nearly universal hit for men. Why? A few reasons: First, most men have a thing for breasts—plain and simple. Second, titty effing is a common act in mainstream porn, Engle says. Third, dudes tend to be visual creatures, and the sight of seeing his penis squeezed between your boobs is **quite** a scene.
It also feels really good for him—more like a Fleshlight than a hand or vagina, according to Engle. This unique sexual sensation can add even more excitement into the mix.
Boob sex can get you going, too.
For women, boob sex can be just as sexy and hot...that is, however, if being in a more submissive position excites you. "It puts you in that 'fantasy partner' porno position [where] you're kind of in this hot submissive, 'sex toy' role and that can be a turn-on," Engle explains.
It can also be really freaking hot to watch your partner get off on something new—and your body being an integral part of it.
But, sad to say, it's more about the experience itself than about getting actual sexual pleasure. While your nerve-packed nipples are nearby (and, yes, you can technically orgasm from nipple play), breast sex doesn't really typically stimulate that area enough to get you to the big O. That doesn't mean you won't get yours—you may just have to treat the boob part as foreplay, then ask your partner to take their skills downtown.
Ready to give your girls a go? Here's how to make boob sex even better:
1. Talk it out.
As with every sexual act, consent is absolutely essential. So it's key that you and your partner discuss the details, even the dirtiest (think: where they'll come) before things get hot and heavy. The good news? This can be as easy as asking, "How do you feel about putting your cock between my boobs?" or vice versa, says sex therapist Cyndi Darnell.
Odds are, your bae will be into it. But what if you're not? Rather than immediately shutting your partner down with a blatant N-O, try to keep an open mind and say something along the lines of, "Thanks for asking. Can you tell me more about what you mean?" or "I haven't tried it, but I might be willing to give it a go. What are some of the most comfortable positions for me that you have in mind?"
Darnell suggests using those phrases because they show that "you are a competent listener and communicator, and you are also looking for guidance." By gathering more information about what you're dealing with, you'll be better off to set boundaries and make agreements going forward, she adds.
2. Be sure to cover all of the details.
Boob sex is all fun and games until your partner is about to finish and, oh crap, your face is very much in the splash zone. Not feeling a facial? Totally get it, girl. Just be sure to voice that and work with your beau to decide on another, more appropriate area for him to unload.
Don't mind it? Then say that, too. "Good sex is about talking as much as doing," Darnell says.
3. You might stumble along the way, and that's okay.
A friendly reminder from Engle: "Nothing with new sexual experiences goes off without a hitch."
Instead of coming to the bedroom with expectations for perfect boob sex, come into it with some room to giggle or feel weird. Also important to have by your side? Enthusiasm. "If you and your partner are here for it and going at it with excitement for a new experience, it will be fine," Engle says.
4. Get in a comfortable position.
If this is your first boob-sex scenario, then your best bet is to lie down on your back so that your S.O. and his package are above you. (Oooh, quite the visual, no?) Have your man lean on his hands, so that he's in missionary position with your breasts, while you squish your boobs together, Engle explains.
The penis should then slip inside, in Darnell's words, "like a hotdog" and start moving in and out at a comfortable speed. Consider asking your bae if he'd like to do the honours of holding your boobs together, as this could bring him even more pleasure, Darnell says.
5. Layer on the lube.
ICYMI, your boobs do not self-lubricate like your lady parts. So you'll likely need something to help with all the slipping and sliding. Enter: lube. More specifically? Silicone lube, which both Darnell and Engle recommend for its super-slippery properties (saliva will only do so much on your dry tata skin).
Silicone lube is also compatible with condoms, which is a major win if you're enjoying some titty time right before your man enters you down under and you need protection. Or, hey, he might even be wearing a condom for just the boob sex, which isn't actually that bad of an idea, according to Engle. "Even though the possibility of passing an STI is unlikely with boob sex, it's best to be safe, always!"
6. Don't be afraid to change up positions.
If you're not feeling the whole starfish situation, consider switching things up by sitting in a chair or squatting in front of your partner. The key, again, is to be comfy—you could be at this for quite some time (read: until your partner finishes or you decide to move to the next act).
Female-dominant positions more your thing? Then have your partner lie on his back and squeeze your breasts together to give him a new kind of a BJ: boob job, duh. Just like a tried-and-true hand job, move your breasts up and down to really give him all the feels.
7. Get creative with boob sex.
"We have to get creative with sex and lots of things can be turn-ons, even if you're not directly getting off from it," Engle says. An easy example? Adding in a little oral sex while mid-boob action—after all, the head of your partner's penis is bobbing up toward your face over and over and over again.
Heads up, however: "Not all cock-and-boob combos are built for this," Darnell cautions. So, if you're having difficulty touching the tip to mouth, don't try to manoeuvre it. Instead, opt for other playful tricks, like alternating between an OG blow job and then boob sex, she explains.
8. Add in some eye contact (if you're into it).
While locking eyes can increase the intensity for some, it can ruin the moment by being too intimidating for others, Darnell says. So it really depends on the duo. The choice, dear reader, is yours.